I never understood how powerful until I was asked the question over and over and again.
The first time I was asked – I gave a quick answer. (As though to say, leave me alone, this is uncomfortable – do you really care).
The second time – I gave a little more.
The third, fourth and fifth time – I gave more and more and more.
Think about this…We often hear children use the word when they are trying to understand something. And we answer, only to hear them ask it again. We answer and again the word comes out of their mouth. It keeps going usually until as adults we get frustrated and abruptly end the conversation. That’s when the child’s curiosity ends.
From a child’s perspective they are wanting to learn, to understand, to get more detail.
If, as a child, we were shut down for asking the word then as an adult we are going to give quick answers because we feel the person asking really doesn’t want to know any more.
We don’t allow ourselves to be curious, to want to know more, and in some situations to allow ourselves to feel.
When I start working with a new client or begin a new project, most of my questions include why.
Why do you do x that way?
Why does y go there?
Why is z entered that way?
Why does xx do that?
It is a way of getting better understanding. And…It makes the client think through the process as they answer the question.
And…
It makes the client think through the process as they answer the question.
As the question is asked and answered we will find if any steps are being missed, if the system flows as expected or if someone else should be part of the process or maybe not be part of the process.
The word can provide a Win-Win for everyone because it is a way to get to the root of any situation.
The next time you hear the word, be open to the other person’s curiosity. You never know how far or how deep things might go with such a small word.